Asking for Help is Successful Parenting

I see lots of frustrated and stressed out parents. There are a number of phrases that I hear so often I'm considering making a poster for my wall so parents know they're not alone. These phrases are what it may sound like when parents are calling for help:

Top 10 Parent Sayings
(that may indicate a need for a new plan)

1. It worked for a little while.
2. I’ve tried everything. 
3. Time-out doesn’t work.
4. I’ve tried explaining things. 
5. He should do it because he’s expected to.
6. I feel like I have to ask 100 times. 
7. Everything is a battle.
8. It’s like pulling teeth. 
9. He doesn’t care about getting spanked.
10. I have to call him down all the time. 

If you are a frustrated, confused, and stressed out parent, don't feel like it reflects poorly on you in any way to go ask for help. Asking for help when needed is the most responsible thing you can do as a parent. You are concerned about your child's welfare, you want to have a good relationship with them, and you want them to be successful. Asking for help may simply be a part of achieving that. Refusing to seek help because of pride can further increase your stress and may cause you to do something you would regret. 

When working with parents, a psychologist does not judge them and certainly doesn't think less of them. I have seen amazing parents and wonderful people come in for help. They have incredible patience and love for their children, but they have simply run out of ideas. I have tremendous respect for these parents because they have realized that they need to get some outside input and are taking action. When we are frustrated, it is hardest to think about things logically and realize what we need to do (as opposed to what we feel like doing). As an outsider, the psychologist has the luxury of not being directly affected by the child's behavior, not being as frustrated, and not being so personally invested that they lose the ability to be objective. 

Parenting is a hard job, but it can be the most rewarding experience as well. However, parents must take care of themselves so they can take care of their child. When you reach your limit, take a step back and consider if you might need to get a little help. Know that if you decide you do, it's not a failure, but a success.