Basic Behavior Modification

As humans, we generally don't like to think of our behavior as "predictable" or easily changed, but in truth it is often far easier to change than we think. Consider two situations: 1) each time you walk through a particular door on your way to work, you get water dumped on your head, and 2) each time you go to your favorite restaurant at 6:00pm, you get a free meal. In the first situation you would probably find a different door to go through (unless you like having water on your head), and in the second situation you would be more likely to go to that restaurant if you're not tired of the food. Both are very simple examples of behavior modification. It works with adults, and it most definitely works with children. However, behavior modification is not always obvious or easy to understand. 

 

There are a couple of terms that are helpful in understanding how to modify behavior: reinforcement and punishment. "Reinforcement" is something that increases the chance that the behavior will occur again. You could see that happening in situation #2 above (the free meal). Reinforcement can be many different things, but ultimately, reinforcement is something that is desirable to the child. Some common examples for children include: praise for a good job, stickers, a good grade, candy, prizes, privileges (like getting to stay up late). An important thing to keep in mind is that what works for one child may not work for another. Generally, we think of reinforcement as "rewards", and that works pretty well. Punishment, on the other hand, is something that makes it less likely the behavior will occur again. It is usually something unpleasant. You saw an example of that in situation #1 (the bucket of water). Naturally, there are many examples of punishment as well, including: scolding/yelling, time-out, spanking, grounding, or loss of privileges. Once again, what works as punishment for one child may not work for another. It is also helpful to keep in mind that punishment mainly “suppresses” behavior, but does not eliminate or change it. When punishment is withdrawn, the behavior may resume. Therefore, it is better to change behavior rather than suppress it. 
 

Obviously not everyone is "expert" at behavior modification, but "expertise" is seldom needed and it is within the reach of all parents to become proficient at it and have tremendous success in changing their child's behavior as needed. With that in mind, here are some pointers to using reinforcement effectively:

• When introducing a new behavior, reward it frequently (we can always reduce it later)
• When the new behavior is hard to do or unappealing to the child, use bigger rewards (we can always reduce this later too)
• If the new behavior is hard to do or has many steps, provides rewards for beginning the behavior; if the child starts to do it, at least provide praise and feedback ("Good job, that's the right thing to do! What comes next?"). You can require more completion later.
• Never expect perfection. Behavior is a little bit random for all people (children and adults), and asking for perfection is essentially making it very unlikely that the child will experience success, which makes it less likely that he'll try again.
• Work toward perfection, but use a reasonable starting point.

While we can be pretty confident that reinforcement (or rewards) will produce an increase in the behavior we've targeted, punishment is much harder to do. Punishing a behavior does not guarantee a decrease in the targeted behavior. If the child does not know of any alternative behavior, then he may continue to engage in misbehavior despite being punished (and only become increasingly frustrated because he doesn't know what to do). 
 

Consider another situation: whenever you walk into that door at work, you get water dumped on your head. You would naturally look for another door, but what if that was the only door and you had to go in for work? You have few options. You could quit your job, but that's usually not very practical. You could look to see if your coworkers are getting water dumped on them too, but you see that they are not and they're not doing anything differently (as far as you can see). Without any options, you resign yourself to going in through the door and getting a bucket of water every day. It would be frustrating and demoralizing, but there are no alternatives. 
 

This is an experience many children with behavior problems experience in school. They know what they are doing wrong, they know they will be punished, but they do not know of anything else they could do (just because it is obvious to you or the teachers doesn't mean it is obvious or easy for the child). If we changed the situation, so there is another door you could go through, then you would be much more likely to quit using the first door and try the second. If you got a reward for going through the second door instead (let's say you get $5 each time you go through), then you become far more likely to use that door. This is a process called "differential reinforcement of alternative behavior" or "DRA" for short. This is usually used with children who have behavior problems because we teach them what they should do, reward them for doing it, and ignore or punish the misbehavior (ignore is usually more effective). When trying to change a child's behavior, we should always ask ourselves three questions:

• Are we showing them what they should do?
• Are we making that as easy to do as the misbehavior?
• Are we making it as rewarding as the misbehavior?

Sometimes children have far more complicated behavior problems than expected or the behavior may have reached an unmanageable point. When this happens (and it is fairly common), then it may be helpful to seek a behavior expert for assistance. It is no in way a personal failure when behavior becomes unmanageable, and it certainly doesn't help to think of it as a "failure." Behavior develops in response to the environment (which includes home, school, and everywhere in between) and the child's unique physiology. Sometimes unpredictable things happen. A behavior expert should discuss the behavioral concern with you, try to identify what happens before and after the behavior, and work on a plan for modifying the behavior. This can be done with periodic clinical visits and the goal is to help you learn new skills and strategies for working with the behavior. You will be expected to track how often the behavior occurs as well. In this way, you'll know if the plan is working or needs to be modified. More severe behavior usually requires a more intensive plan and, in rare cases, may require inpatient treatment. Your behavior expert will discuss that with you if it appears necessary, though it is rare.