Penny in a Pocket

Do you ever feel like you're always calling your kid out for bad behavior? Like you always have to nag him, scold him, or correct his behavior? Does your kid ever seem to appreciate that and say, "Gee, you're totally right. Thank you for pointing that out!" (If so, that is pretty exceptional) More often, kids are a little frustrated and upset each time they get called out for bad behavior. If you have to call your kid out "all the time", then you can bet your kid is getting very frustrated and upset, which unfortunately makes bad behavior more likely.

You don't often see new strategies for how to catch bad behavior happening. It's pretty obvious when it does and we are usually quick to point it out. However, it is much harder to "catch" good behavior. We usually expect it (it's what they "should do") and it doesn't stand out. This can become a problem, though, because some children end up being called down for their bad behavior far more often than they are praised for good behavior. This article is about a simple strategy for "catching" good behavior that was taught to me by one of my professors in graduate school. The idea is so simple, but it is brilliant (indeed, "simple" is often "brilliant").

Materials:

• Pennies (maybe 20-30 of them)
• Two pockets on opposite sides of your body (left and right is good)
• Patience and determination

This requires you to have two pockets dedicated to pennies. Pennies are good because they're cheap, can easily be acquired, and if you lose one it's not a big deal. They're also tough and small enough that carrying them around isn't a big inconvenience.

1. Assign one pocket as "good" and one pocket as "bad" (let's say left is bad and right is good). 
2. Put an equal number of pennies in both pockets.
3. When you call your child down for bad behavior, move a penny from your right pocket to your left pocket. 
4. When you praise your child for good behavior, move a penny from your left pocket to your right pocket. 
5. At the end of the day, see which pocket has more. Ideally, you should have more pennies in your right pocket. 

To really make this strategy work, make it your goal to have more pennies in your right pocket. Even if you have to find small, silly things to praise your child for, do it anyway. You'll eventually get into the habit of noticing when your child is doing the right thing and your child should be less frustrated (and therefore a little less likely to get into trouble). This can also improve your relationship with your child because it is no longer just you being the source of punishment, and that alone can make it worthwhile!